I was struggling for when to do this challenge as I couldn’t
do it during any work time. I decided to start it when I was suffering with a
bad throat anyway – I thought this might make it easier but it didn’t!
The first thing I discovered was that my husband would take
any opportunity to make wise cracks or get me to agree to things. “Stay silent
if you think we should get a bigger TV.” “Stay silent if we can spend your tax
rebate on the holiday”. “Stay silent if you don’t want any tea…” You get the picture!
This was rapidly replaced by me discovering how hard it is
not talking to the dog! I had not realised just how much I chat away at her
unthinking, that all my instructions to her are verbal or that she would become
utterly confused by my lack of sound.
As I didn’t have any big weekend plans due to feeling poorly
I thought it best to include digital communication in my silence. I didn’t want
anyone thinking I hadn’t challenged myself. It pains me to say, this was just
as hard as not speaking. So many of my friends and family are dotted around the
world I felt bad for not replying or desperate to comment on something funny or
cute on Facebook. This is such a sign of the times that I would have found
silence more bearable if I could text and message and comment and like and
whatsapp and Instagram. When it got to an hour to go and my husband was still
out at the footy those were the things I thought I’d do first and that was a
real eye opener for me.
The biggest problem with 24 hours of silence? That I’m
northern and live in the countryside. I thought a dog walk would be a nice
break. No possibility that I was agreeing to spending lots of money on TV’s;
the dog knows the way so I wouldn’t have to instruct her. So the issue? If you
meet on a dog walk it is social suicide to not talk to people. I chose to go round
the quarry as it’s really windy and I thought it was highly unlikely anyone
else would venture up there.
Encounter No. 1: An elderly couple appeared from a small
path in the bushes. I smiled, they said hello. I smiled again. They looked at
one another confused. “It’s lovely weather” they said. I nodded. But we’re
northern, a nod is not enough. “Have you walked this way before?” they tried
and looked at me encouragingly. I gestured that I couldn’t use my voice and at
the same moment must have turned so they saw my hearing aid. “Oh the poor dear”.
I had inadvertently given the impression I was deaf and dumb. I smiled and
continued. But the dog did not. She decided to follow these lovely talking
people who would give her a big fuss. “No little doggy you’ve got an important
job to do” they said. While I ashamedly pulled my dog in her ‘happens to be
high-vis’ coat along with me.
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| Not following my gestures so I have to go back through the mud for her! |
Encounter No. 2: We rounded the top of the quarry and on a
very small path bumped into a solitary walker. “What a day!” she exclaimed. I
smiled. “It’s going to get more blustery and wet though”. I nodded. “Oh my
goodness is that a King Charles? I had one of those but it wasn’t well behaved
like yours, it would run off”. I tried for a bigger smile and a nod together.
She looked confused, then brightened “ah you don’t speak English, I should have
known with the darker skin, don’t worry my dear bye bye”.
Encounter No 3: We were nearly home and dry. So far I had
survived both as each had found their own reason for my silence. We walked
quickly down the steep hill to home. A farmer came around the corner – “harder
going up than down duck, lucky you”. I smiled. I fained being out of breath to
explain my silence. He laughed “can’t be a local if you out of breath going
down!”
Just as we got to the door we passed the postman, “alrate” he
said but kept walking. I sat inside wondering if I had performed the cardinal
sin of annoying the postman who it’s important to keep on side. I wrote a note
in case a neighbour popped round, to say I was doing a sponsored silence – I couldn’t
think of breaking the last of the countryside etiquettes.
So although a ‘solitary’ dog walk was probably the toughest
part of the challenge; it was the bit that meant the most to me. Because the
truth is, there people in this country who could go days of silence. Maybe they
live alone and no-one talks to their neighbours. Maybe they travel on the tube
where everyone keeps their head down. But I live somewhere where no-one assumed
I was being rude or I didn’t want to talk to them. Only a physical impairment
or a language barrier could have been the possible reason I didn’t stop and
chat. And I love that.
So thank you to Lesley for the challenge, thank you to the
dog walkers and the northerners and the countryside folk who wouldn’t
dream of letting someone have 24 hours stuck in silence.
Remember to support this or set your own challenge donate at
www.justgiving.com/30before30sense
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| Where I'm lucky enough to live |
